For the last couple of months, God has begun to do something else in my life. He has started to compel me to share my story. He has been laying heavily on my heart...encouraging me to reach as many people as possible.
Why? Because, people have to know. They have to know that the only reason I can continue on is because of the things I know. Through my faith in my God I know these to be true.
One...death is NOT the end. As believers we have a place prepared and waiting for us in Heaven. "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going." John 14: 1-4
Two...I will see my Lauren again. I only know this because I have intimate knowledge of her salvation and I am also saved through the blood of Jesus, the only way to come to God.
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 4:16
And three...God's grace and love keep me moving forward. I miss my daughter, everyday. Some mornings it is God's strength and sheer will that get me up. Oh how I would love to just stay under the covers tucked securely in my bed, not wanting to face the cruel, cruel world. But this is not the path for me. I can't just give up and remain stuck in my grief. Mine is truly a grief with hope. Without that hope it would be paralyzing. My favorite verse that is helping me so much is...
1 Thessalonians 4: 13-14 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
As I have been praying the last few months for God to show me what He would have me do, I have been actively seeking out ways to become more involved in my church. I figured what better place for God to reveal His plan for me. About a month ago my pastor presented a sermon about discipleship. The message kept weighing on my heart as I thought more and more about what I could do to share my testimony.
I finally made an appointment to go and speak with my pastor individually. My plan was to share my story of tragic loss and renewed hope and ask my pastor to pray with me. I would ask that we pray for God to reveal to my pastor a time, if there came a time, that my tale could assist with a sermon. Accentuate and add more punch to the message.
Now I fully expected to share my story and have the pastor listen nicely and maybe I would hear from him later...much later. Instead, he commenced to run through some upcoming sermons (all great pastors plan ahead) and contemplating where my story could possibly fit. "My message here is....and then the next Sunday it is....no, it wouldn't go well there. But maybe...."
After thinking it through a bit, my pastor came to the conclusion that my story would best fit on...wait for it...EASTER SUNDAY! Yikes!! Only one of the largest attendance days in most churches, and ours is no exception. Since the message is about overcoming the grave, what better time to hear the testimony of a mother who had to put her daughter in the grave yet continues to grow and move forward with God?
He asked if I would be willing to come in to meet with the media department to tape my story. He took down my information, including days and times that work. Again, I expected to hear from the church at some later time. I thanked him for visiting and praying with me and went home.
The very next night, while working the information counter following Wednesday night church dinner, my pastor's secretary approached the desk. She had a business card in her hand with two upcoming dates and times that the media department is prepared for me to come in and tape my story. WOW...I thought, this guy isn't messing around. I wasn't clear on whether I meant my pastor or God, but either way, things were quickly set in motion.
So...this leads me to ask all of you to pray for me. Pray that I can adequately share how special, funny, gregarious, charming and wonderful my Lauren was in life and how blessed I have been because of God's grace since her death. Pray that my message is potent and will help lead others to the Lord Jesus, for that is the only way to have eternal life. Oh, and pray that I don't look too fat on the big screen, it's a really big screen....thanks so much =)
