Then I received a call out of the blue from Mitchell's sister Christine. She announced that she was getting married soon and wanted me to be her maid of honor. She also wanted me to meet her finance's friend because she thought we would hit it off. I asked a little about him. She informed me that he was recently divorced and had two kids. Great...I thought, this is going to be interesting.
Needless to say, without going into too much detail, I did end up really liking this guy. Ray and I were married three and a half months from the day we met. Lauren was only 21 months old. I became step mom to his two kiddos and he became dad to Lauren. Unfortunately Mitchell and I had not remained in contact and therefore Lauren had not even met him.
So, for the 12 years Ray and I were married he was Lauren's dad. When she was little he used to read her Disney books and loved messing up the words to make Lauren giggle. Cinderella became ¨Send her a fella¨ and his favorite was Sleeping Beauty who he immediately named ¨Sleeping Booty¨. Lauren acted upset and tried to correct him but she was laughing too hard.
Ray provided a great parental balance and contributed to raising Lauren to become the wonderful person she was when we tragically lost her. He was firm where I was lenient and he was tender where I was tough. It worked out well and Lauren even thanked us as she got older for the manner in which we brought her up and taught her respect for others and their property. The respect for property was a little extreme due to Ray's borderline obsessive compulsive disorder and anal retentiveness but we still loved him anyway.
When our marriage took a turn for the worse my heart broke for Lauren. It wasn't her fault that Ray and I couldn't get off the crazy merry go round we found ourselves stuck on and get our acts together yet her life was altered immensely from our decision to divorce. And because we had never completed a legal adoption Ray technically had no obligation to Lauren as a father.....legally at least.
I had some people in my life who felt I should force Lauren to no longer see Ray. He was not paying child support so he didn't have the right to see the child. This was the rationale those folks used to try to convince me. Again, always relates to the all mighty dollar.
I admit it was tough being a single mom again and I could have used a bit more financial help at times but here's the thing....Ray was Lauren's dad in her heart. Keeping him in her life was not a decision for me to make. She was old enough to decide for herself. Although they encountered a few rough patches along the way Lauren never stopped loving Ray as her dad.
When she and I moved back to Brandon after the divorce I also reconnected with Mitchell and his family who lived about an hour away. Lauren was thrilled with the opportunity to get to know Mitchell and gaining another sister, Morgan, was a definite bonus.
This Sunday is Father's Day. Ray will surely celebrate with his children Donnie and Lauren Michelle. But I know he will also be heartbroken as he misses our Lauren. After all, she had decided that he was her dad.
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