At one point Lauren had convinced herself that she wanted to grow up and become a ¨baby doctor¨. The older she grew the more she learned about this particular specialty in the medical field and she changed her mind. It aint all about delivering babies and she wasn't interested in the other ¨stuff¨.
I confess that this infatuation with babies caused me quite a bit of grief over the years. I lifted many a prayer specifically asking that God help Lauren make healthy decisions and NOT become pregnant. It's sad to say but each year I grew more and more relieved about the topic. It's shameful to admit thinking this way but as my daughter got older it became less detrimental if she were to become pregnant. Of course I hoped and prayed that she would remain abstinent but the reality is....we're all sinners and fall short. I would bargain with God and say ¨Dear Lord please just let her get out of high school without getting pregnant.¨....¨Please let Lauren finish college without getting pregnant.¨....¨Please let Lauren find a wonderful Godly man to marry and THEN get pregnant.¨
It didn't help that many of Lauren's friends were getting pregnant shortly after high school graduation. It seemed like every time I turned around she was coming home and reporting that another girl she graduated with was pregnant. And every time she shared the latest impregnation scenario she and I would have our ¨talk¨. Lauren would say ¨I know mom....I get it. I don't want to have a baby now. I promise.¨
I have to give a big shout out to Lauren's high school and thank them for the wonderful senior project which included bringing home a computerized baby as part of a senior project. It was all fun and games until Lauren wanted to go to sleep that night. She tried figuring out how to remove the batteries to no avail. She finally slept on the couch with the baby in its carrier on the floor covered with pillows and blankets. ¨Tsk tsk...I'm gonna call DCF girl¨ I said the next morning when I discovered her solution to her simulated single mom experience. ¨Shut up mom.¨ is what I got in response to that comment. I think this little experiment went a long way in answering my ongoing prayers. Way to go lil robobaby....love ya.
She did like to play jokes on me though. Like the time she and her boyfriend Joe thought it was funny to give me an interesting gift for my birthday. We were in the kitchen about to leave to meet up with the rest of my family at a restaurant and she handed me a bag. When I pulled out what was inside I stood there in shock. It was a diaper. I stared at the diaper, then I stared at her. She was smiling from ear to ear and then blurted out ¨Congratulations!¨ She tried to maintain composure as long as possible but quickly told me it was a joke. Her real gift was a silver turtle necklace. I did not think it was very funny.
And her love for babies drove her to come home the night she was tragically killed. I know she was so excited to meet her brand new niece. I also know she would have loved little Dixie'ana right away. I am not upset that she was coming to meet this precious new life. It actually makes my heart smile that my sweet girl was traveling that night for such a wonderful reason. And I am also happy that her final thoughts were of something she loved so much.....a baby.
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