A View from a Different Seat

I attended a funeral yesterday. It was conducted at the same church where my daughter Lauren's service was held when she died. Kevin and I attend a different church here in Brandon and therefore I had not returned to First Baptist until yesterday.
My oldest sister Okle sent me a text Wednesday night asking if I could go to the funeral with her. She had been dear friends with the daughter of the sweet lady who had passed away. I think she was afraid to go by herself. She didn't say it outright, but a sister knows. I immediately checked my work calendar and it just so happened that I had a brief early morning meeting at a nearby school and enough time before the start of my next meeting that I could utilize my lunch break to attend.
As I drove to the church after my first meeting I was filled with anxiety. I was not sure if I would be able to control my emotional response to returning to the same site where I had said my final good bye to Lauren. It has only been two months. But my sister needed me and I too know the family and wanted to pay my respects.
When I pulled in and parked my car I did not hesitate for long. I checked my lipstick in the rear view mirror, took a deep breath and opened the door. I walked briskly to the side door of the sanctuary before I lost my nerve. Okle had already sent me a text giving me her location which helped. I opened the door and entered. As I made my way to where Okle was seated several people stopped me to hug my neck and ask how I am doing. I know they meant well but this did not help me keep it all together.
We were seated in the side section of the very large building. I sat there thinking what a remarkably different view it is from this seat. The last time I was here I was on the very front row of the middle section. I was seated with Kevin on my left and Ray on my right. One man is my life partner while the other had been my parenting partner and at that time I certainly needed them both. I looked at the front row now and my heart broke for the family members seated there this day.
Beautiful flowers were placed at the front by the casket. The casket was actually the same model I had chosen for Lauren. Dr. Tommy Green spoke eloquently and the music was wonderful. Okle and I even had the opportunity to join others on the platform to sing as requested by First Baptist's choir director who is the son of the lady being laid to rest. Singing actually helped lift my spirits and improve my mood.
When I returned to my seat I took a minute to read the tribute handed to me as I signed the guestbook. I absolutely love the inscription I found written on the inside of the leaflet. It read ¨The final heartbeat for the Christian is not the mysterious conclusion to a meaningless existence. It is, rather, the grand beginning to a life with our Savior that will never end. - Dr. James Dobson¨
Amen.