Snuggle Tummy

"Snuggle tummy" referred to a ritual Lauren and I shared as mommy and daughter. Either of us would loudly disclaim "snuggle tummy" right before pouncing on the other and hugging and snuggling rather aggressively. This started when Lauren was a baby and I would lay on the couch or bed with her on my tummy and hug her soooo tight rocking her from side to side. I started calling it "snuggle tummy" and she would laugh and laugh.

This routine continued into toddler hood and beyond. And when I say beyond I mean it never stopped. If I was laying stretched out on the couch, relaxing and minding my own business, Lauren loved to run into our living room loudly declaring "SNUGGLE TUMMY" and literally become airborne right before landing directly on my stomach. I would fuss, as she was not the little tot she once was, and she would laugh. She was the size of a grown woman. But secretly I loved it. OK, not so secretly I guess because she knew it.

Lauren had a friend who lived down the street from my parents named....wait for it....Lauren. Her mother's name is Kim. When I had both of my girls with me and they went down the road to play it would be Lauren, Lauren, and Lauren. Good times. One day Kim called me to tell me she had given my Lauren Elizabeth a little test to discover her Love Language.

For those of you unfamiliar with this philosophy allow me to briefly explain. There have been several books written about the varying modes people utilize to express and desire to be shown love. The idea is based on research by marriage counselors after years of working with couples. I was first introduced to this theory when Ray and I were beginning to struggle in our marriage. The concept describes five languages of love which are affirming words, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts. I am writing this from memory and may not have the exact titles but you can get the idea.

So Kim called and said she had purchased the kid version of the book and had administered the test to the girls. She asked if I wanted to know what the process revealed as Lauren's number one Love Language. I stopped her to say that I already knew my daughter's top love language. Kim asked if I had done the test with Lauren previously and I said no, but I know my kid. Her highest ranking love language had to be physical touch. Kim was amazed that I had figured this out on my own.  When you have a teenager who still loves to play "snuggle tummy" it's kind of easy to know she expresses her love with touch.

This posed problems at times. When she was still dating Joe, the driver of the car she was riding in that fateful night, I used to tell her "Lauren, you don't have to hang all over Joe the whole time you are on the couch with him watching TV." But here's the thing, yes she did. Why? Because she loved him and that is how she shows love. It might make others uncomfortable but to her it was natural. This physical touch is not in a sexual sense but a showing of affection. Holding hands, laying your head on some one's shoulder, hugging, touching some one's arm while speaking to them are only some examples of how someone who expresses love through physical touch operates.

As I remember the last night I saw Lauren I remember her hugs the most. Plural because she hugged me once when she approached us in the breezeway of the stadium where we were all gathered awaiting her to exit from the dugout and then again right before heading to the bus. I can still feel her arms around me squeezing tight. Unfortunately I can still smell her too....isn't softball wonderful? But I wouldn't trade the memory of those hugs for anything. Well, maybe I would trade them for going back in time and altering that early morning's events.  But since that is out of the realm of possibilities I will just have to think back upon and cherish all of the "snuggle tummys" of times gone by. Gone but never forgotten.