Sending Sandie

As I previously mentioned, many visitors arrived at the house the day my daughter died. Most brought food, hugs and prayers. Some stayed for a just a bit while others remained for quite a while. My family was also starting to rally and some arrived that very day.
But the one friend that I desperately needed by my side was Sandie. Sandie lives near Jacksonville and therefore had a three hour drive from her house to mine. We met when my ex-husband Ray and I relocated to Middleburg, Florida in the summer of 2003. Sandie and I would not cross paths until 2004 when we worked together in the same department at an elementary school. I still remember the day she asked if her daughter Salena and son Sam could stay in my classroom after school with Lauren. It never entered my mind to say no. I knew Lauren would enjoy the company. The kids hit it off from the start and the seeds for deep friendships were planted.
Sandie and I worked very well together. I was a supervisor of a program for students with emotional handicaps and Sandie assisted in the classrooms. As time went on I made changes to the assignments creating an opportunity for Sandie to be in my room full time.  As a behavior resource teacher I was not responsible for direct instruction. I led the department, managed staff and handled student behavior and discipline. Often times I had to remove a student from the classroom if he or she was being too disruptive for learning to take place. Within our room were two time out rooms.
Like a well oiled machine Sandie and I fell into a synchronized rhythm. We could slip into a good cop-bad cop routine with just a brief glance. We quickly learned which students reacted best to her versus me and tag team our deescalation procedures as needed. Our friendship strengthened outside of school also yet we prided ourselves on remaining professional at all times while at work.
Sandie also became like a second mother to Lauren. Once Lauren accompanied Sandie and her girls to her son's baseball game. As they sat in the stands acting like a typical family they attracted some interesting looks. At the time Lauren's hair was heavily highlighted so she was technically a blond. Sandie is from Mexico and all three of her children are brown eyed, brunette beauties. So there sat my blond, green eyed lightly freckled daughter in this family of dark and exotic females presenting herself as an additional member of the crew. She finally said to an onlooker, "Don't worry, I'm her adopted daughter from Hong Kong" as she pointed to Sandie. From that day forward the title stuck.
During this time Ray and I began having problems in our marriage which eventually became insurmountable resulting in us filing for divorce in 2007,  just shy of our 12th anniversary. To say that this was a difficult time in my life would be a gross understatement. Only now with the loss of my precious daughter have I experienced something more devastating. And through it all Sandie was there. Countless times I arrived at her house unannounced and spent the night crying myself to sleep on her couch. And even though Lauren and I moved back to Brandon the summer before she started high school, Sandie and I remained close. That's the funny thing about true friendships. You don't have to live close or even talk everyday to know that you love each other dearly.
So without hesitation Sandie made the trip and arrived later that afternoon with her older daughter Tanya. Her middle child, Salena had arrived earlier having traveled from Orlando where she is attending school at the University of Central Florida. I'll never forget that when Salena arrived she walked in without saying a word and sat down close by me on the couch and didn't move from my side for hours.
In addition to my wonderful husband Kevin, Sandie was my rock. She is a true prayer warrior and friend. She worked tirelessly around the house cleaning after meals and running errands when necessary. She wept with me, prayed with me and supported my decisions throughout the week. She stayed the entire time and I cannot begin to express my gratitude for the foundation of faith she provided. She accompanied my sisters, Kevin, Ray and me to the funeral home to assist in planning the service. I can tell you that picking out flowers to adorn your child's casket is not something I recommend. I slipped in and out of focus as I thought how pretty some of the flowers were and then the reality of the purpose of the arrangement came crashing back.
All I can say is thank God He sent Sandie.