Oh Brother!

Lauren loved her siblings. She was not concerned with titles such as "stepbrother" or "half" sister. To her they were all family. When Ray and I got married in February of 1996 Lauren Elizabeth was only 21 months old. Ray's son Donnie was only 5 and his daughter Lauren Michelle was only 18 months old. They were all babies. Even though Ray's kids only came to stay with us every other weekend we quickly established ourselves as a family. Lauren Elizabeth really didn't know life any other way. There were a few months of growing pains since she was used to having me all to herself but life fell into a nice rhythm and the kids got along well. 
I decided early on and Ray agreed that we would never take a family photo without all of the children. We always arranged our appointments to fit the times we had the kiddos with us. On the way to one particular photo session Donnie was in rare, maybe not so rare, form. The girls were both around 4 years old and Donnie was 8. I had painstakingly gotten all 3 kids and myself ready for the scheduled sitting and we all loaded up into our Suburban to head to the location. Ray and I were chatting in the front seat when out of no where Lauren Elizabeth starts crying. I asked her what was wrong and she proceeds to announce that she has stuck an M&M up her nose and now she can't get it out. 
Dear Lord Jesus help me. I asked Ray to pull over to the side of the road. I got out of my seat and opened the back passenger door to survey the damage. Sure enough, a red M&M was stuck in one of Lauren's nostrils. A lovely trail of red snot was running down her face. I calmed her down, held the other nostril and told her to blow. THUNK....out shot the M&M. 
No sooner had I finished with Lauren Elizabeth, Lauren Michelle starts crying from her spot at the opposite end of the bench seat. I glance over and say "Let me guess...monkey see, monkey do, you have an M&M in your nose too?" She answered my question by nodding and crying even louder. I crossed to the other side of the vehicle and repeated my routine this time to remove a green M&M. 
All this time Donnie is sitting quietly in the middle of the girls. Too quietly. I asked the girls what in the world possessed them to shove candy up their noses? They both looked at Donnie who immediately lowered his head in an attempt to become invisible. After a quick swat on the leg from Ray and a stern warning not to do something so stupid ever again we were once more on our way. Upon arrival I ushered the girls into a bathroom to clean any remaining visible colored streaks from their faces and the picture turned out lovely.
One day Ray and I were working in the backyard of our house in Lakeland. We were located on a lake and were busy cleaning out unwanted vegetation from the shoreline as the kids played in the front yard. If you're a parent you are familiar with the usual noise level that occurs when three children are cavorting and having fun. It is when things get too quiet that you begin to worry. 
I noticed that the kids were not as boisterous as they had been only minutes earlier. Not good. I asked Ray to stop whacking weeds and help me listen. He also heard nothing. We proceeded to exit the edge of the lake and make our way around the side of the house. As we rounded the front corner we observed all three of our children lying flat on their backs, arms outstretched straight to their sides at shoulder height and eyes squeezed shut. I looked at Ray, Ray looked at me and I said "What in the world are YOUR children doing?"
I slowly approached Lauren Elizabeth and quietly stood over her. When she finally noticed the eclipse that had occurred as I cast a shadow over her face she fluttered her eyes open to see what was going on. "Hey mommy" she whispered. "Hey Lauren, whatcha doin?" I whispered back. "Donnie said that if we are really still like we're dead the birds will come down here and we can pet em." Lauren Elizabeth explained while pointing her little nubby finger at the sky.
I glanced up to see about 4 or 5 buzzards circling in the sky. Again I offered up a silent plea to God...help me with these crazy kids. I asked Donnie "Really? Lie still and act like you're dead? Come on. Now although you do somewhat smell like death after playing outside all day I don't think your stench is to the level it needs to be to attract buzzards. And what exactly did you plan to do with these birds if they decided to come land next to you for a visit?" "Play with em" he said. Oh brother....gotta love those kids.