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The morning of my daughter's funeral dawned bright, sunny and beautiful. I prayed that it would be just that way. I woke early that day as I had not slept well at all the night before. So many things weighed heavily on my mind and thoughts raced incessantly. I was nervous about seeing Lauren. Up to this point I had not seen her.

On the day of the accident I received a call from the medical examiner for Hillsborough County. I finally had the answer to where my baby had been taken. The female examiner expressed her condolences and then needed to ask several questions. Had Lauren broken any bones lately and had x-rays taken? My heart fell directly into the pit of my stomach. I informed the examiner that our family had recently switched dentists and Lauren had dental x-rays taken less than two months prior. I immediately asked if this was the only way possible to identify my precious daughter? The fear rocked me to my very core. A mental image of the mangled vehicles instantly flashed before my eyes. What was the condition of the light of my life? 

Thoughts of her broken body swarmed to the forefront of my mind. Again I worried that she had suffered. What were her injuries? Would I be able to allow the casket to be open? Is this really happening to me? Am I really sitting here contemplating the logistics of my daughter's funeral? 

The kind woman on the other end of the phone assured me that she did not need the dental records because Lauren was unrecognizable. It is preferable to identify victims in this manner to save families from being required to come to the office and view pictures of their loved ones in the most devastating of conditions. A huge weight was lifted from my heart. I provided the dentist's contact information and hung up the phone.

Then I prayed. A desperate prayer of a mother asking her ever gracious and loving God to make this all be a huge misunderstanding. A case of mistaken identity. But time was running out. Soon there would be no doubt. No room for false hope or fantasies. No possibility for a happy ending.

The voice mail that was left by the medical examiner hours later that day still remains on my cell phone. I recognized the number but couldn't bring myself to answer. I listened a few minutes later...."Hello, this message is for Kimberly Jahn. This is Monica calling from the medical examiner's office just calling to let you know that we have positively identified Lauren Phillips through dental x-rays. I just wanted to let you know so you guys have a heads up for tomorrow and can go ahead and progress with the arrangements. If you have any questions please give me a call."

No....I have no questions. None that could be answered anyway. I just sat in my chair phone held limply in my hand. I can't recall how long I stared at the floor but I imagine it was a substantial amount of time. I knew I had to get up but my body wouldn't move. I had to go tell my family and friends who had gathered at my house that I had received confirmation of our worst fears. I willed my legs to move and delivered the devastating news.

Lauren was gone. Thank God we will be reunited with her in His kingdom but for now, in this lifetime and on this Earth she is lost to us all. I replayed the message a few hours later just to make sure. That message, which lasts a whole 27 seconds, altered my life forever. 

I wish I had never heard it...and all of this was a terrible dream.