Honorary Graduate

This afternoon I will travel to South Florida State College in Avon Park, Florida to walk across a stage and accept an honorary Associate of Arts degree for my daughter Lauren. I cannot begin to describe the outpouring of support, love and adoration this school has shown for my daughter since her death. I was already impressed with the college while Lauren attended and the entire faculty, staff and student body have continued to amaze me to this day.
Now everything wasn't always without difficulty. Lauren called me one day in the fall to report that she had gotten in trouble. Apparently the college has a strict policy against allowing other students to utilize your technology equipment... in this case, a flash drive. Lauren had forgotten her drive in her computer class one day and when she inquired as to whether the professor had found it the response was to check a table containing several drives. Lauren retrieved one that she thought was hers and proceeded to pull up the assignment in need of completion. She realized that the drive belonged to another student but thought it would be alright to upload the information she needed as the assignment had been completed collectively in class. She then returned the drive to the rightful owner and informed her that she had taken the information she needed, asking if that was OK. The owner of the drive said yes but to be careful as she had already allowed another student to use it earlier.
The professor discovered the fact that the same drive had been used by multiple students and was not pleased. Lauren's coach had to break the news as he had been notified by the professor. She was mortified to say the least. When she called me she was not yet sure of the repercussions of her actions. I informed her she would have to face the music as she was well aware that what she was doing was against policy. I never defended my child if she did something wrong. I always prayed that she would learn from her mistakes and receive a penalty commensurate with her "crime" and not disproportionately punitive but I never attempted to save her.
The end result was that Lauren received a zero on the assignment. She was willing to accept the consequences for her poor choices but she was extremely distressed by the fact that the other student who used the drive denied any involvement and received a passing grade. I allowed her to vent her feelings and then did as I always did...pointed out a valuable life lesson. I explained to Lauren that dishonest people sometimes appear to win or get ahead in life. One day they will more than likely fall as a result of their unscrupulousness but it was not up to her to determine their fate. I also delicately (not really) pointed out that if she kept up with her own equipment none of this would have happened in the first place. Gotta love moms right?
Other than this unfortunate incident, Lauren's time at SFSC was a true blessing. Living on her own was great for her, and me. We were in that natural place in our relationship where independence needed to be established. Playing softball again was a dream come true. And working toward her degree in elementary education was a stepping stone on the path to becoming a kindergarten teacher. Overall life was on track and heading in the right direction. So tonight I will hold my head high and try with all my might not to cry as I walk across that stage in honor of my Lauren to accept her degree with great pride. The only thing that could make it better would be seeing Lauren accept it herself. I know she will be watching...more than likely saying "Dear Lord don't let my mom trip!" Gotta love that kid.